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emilynoll

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OMGEEZ [May. 9th, 2006|02:21 pm]
[mood |crazy cool]
[music |get behind me satan: white stripes]

I am going home tomorrow!!!!

Excitement.

I should write a really long entry about all the zany things that have gone on these last few days, but instead I'm going to pack/write my 10 page paper/say goodbye to everybody/plan for Europe and Tucson. Oh man...

Tonight promises surprising endings.



ps. LINDSAY AND I ARE OFFICIALLY GOING TO CHICAGO!!
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please don't take a picture [May. 4th, 2006|08:37 am]
It's late, and I can't concentrate on my project anymore.

Brett wrote me a poem. I don't know how I feel about that. It was actually pretty good, and I'm glad he can express his feelings, but I received the email at a very inconvenient time.

Oh man, I wish I had started this earlier. It wouldn't be so bad if I wasn't going to be peer-graded. I know I can fool Professor Leap...but my classmates (?) We'll see.

On a happier note, I had a really nice day. Lindsay and I spent the afternoon doing homework at Ruby Tuesday's, while Katie served us amazing kiwi lemonades. Then I effectively procrastinated for another five hours, spent time with Andrew, and then took a brief nap to psych myself for work.

I'm eating chocolate to stay awake. It's starting to fail me. AHHH.

I can't wait until 5pm.
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(no subject) [May. 2nd, 2006|12:31 am]
[Current Location |my bed]
[music |india.arie]

It seems that last post made quite a stir.

Tonight I was called "crazy," which I guess I can't debate.

Lindsay's radio show was a whole lot of fun; I hope the eight listeners enjoyed themselves.

I'm having a hard time motivating myself to write.

Homework (or bed) here I come...
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Long time coming. . . [Apr. 30th, 2006|12:18 am]
I made this list while babysitting...

Things about me:
I sleep in my underwear
I care what people think (about most everything)
I think that I am beautiful most all of the time
I think that eating disorders and unattainable beauty standards are too bad
I find myself hating girls for hating themselves
Sometimes I wish I were more compassionate
I wish everyone could be happy only having what they need
People and human interaction matters most
Everyone loves something
I like to pee in the shower
I hardly ever wear make up
I am allergic to spiders
I have loud orgasms
I want to have sex before my condoms expire in 2008
If I don’t, I will try not to be sad
I feel liberated with short hair
I like my glasses
I hate debates and most antagonistic forms of communication
Dialogue warms my heart
I want everyone to be able to live happily
I try not to hate anyone
That gets really difficult when people are cruel
I love church, mostly my church back home
I don’t value autonomy as much as community
I don’t know if I always live by that motto
I love theory but have a hard time living it
I get frustrated when solutions from above have no practical value
I want to influence people to make positive change
I would create a third pronoun if I had the power
I would use “per”
I believe in change occurring from the bottom up
I’m scared that I have lost touch with the importance of diversity
I think my sister might be a republican
I get angry when I find myself questioning why a man is carrying a pink bag, or why a woman is wearing a tie
I want to work for equality
I love giving haircuts
I love cooking, baking, and caring for others
Music is extremely important to me, but I am really bad with band/song names
I wish I didn’t need to wear clothing
Sometimes I’m scared that I am faking my life
Family might be the most important thing
I feel disconnected from reality when I don’t leave campus
Sometimes I empathize to the point of tears
I’m not sure what I believe
I want to be loved
I put a lot of energy, time, and money into my relationship with Brett only to break his heart
I don’t know why I didn’t see it coming
I want to defeat the evil in my heart
I get caught up in gossip
I wish spirituality were the answer
Actually, I wish ice cream were…
It would be nice to live on a boat for a while
I am terrified of animals
I am a bad vegetarian
I don’t think that means anything
I will not refuse food that has been prepared for me
Playgrounds have an amazing ability to remind you what it’s like to live
People can survive through incredible suffering
I respect people
I don’t think I struggle very often
I am so grateful for being blessed
I love going to college in DC
Sometimes I feel inferior to my peers
Often I feel superior
I don’t think either is appropriate
My political beliefs don’t match up with anyone’s
I’m a mess
I wonder what I would say to bell hooks if we ever met
There is so much I need to read
I want to speak Spanish
It would be pretty incredible to speak multiple languages
Resumes are unfortunate
I don’t want to work to get ahead
I want to be happy just existing
I want to meet someone who makes me feel whole
I kind of like TV
I hate marketing, advertising, and the globalization of markets
I hate being an American when I realize what this country stands for
I love being an American when I feel like a member of a community of love and compassion
I think I ignore God a lot
I am conflicted about nationalism and pride
I’ve been so since 10th grade
I like folk music and the mountains
I like talent shows, and anytime that my peers can impress me
I want people to be confident and self-assured
I wish everyone could feel the god within them
I don’t know how I feel about human rights
Or cultural relativism
Or the national anthem in Spanish
I wish I wanted to rule the world
I only want enough power to make people feel good
I guess that includes me too
I like sex and talking about sex
I distrust western science, but I still go to the doctor
I want to be a free spirit
I want to run for miles
I want to hike up a mountain
I never want to stop being thankful and aware of every moment
We all care too much about stuff
I hate Wal-Mart and McDonalds
Dr. Suess was a genius
I wish I were a writer
We operate from fear on an all too regular basis
What would happen if we operated from love?
I hate free trade agreements
I love when children learn
Smile
And
Cry
I feel more alive around older people
The weather was perfect today
I would be happy never wearing shoes
I love making people laugh
I probably try to hard at most things
I think I look bad in sunglasses
My favorite number is 4 and I have no idea why
I remember Larry Johnson as grand-ma-ma
I like being a grown up
I’m exhausted
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Grandma lost her giftcard [Dec. 28th, 2005|01:15 pm]
My brother and I went running on the golf course this morning. It was very cold, but it felt really good to be exercising again. I'm going to Hershey Park in a few minutes-Chocolate World here we come. I want to be back in Charlotte already. I miss my friends. Okay, well only 2 more days.

At least I'm not sick anymore.

Oh yeah, Arner's has good breakfasts.

That is all.
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home sweet home [Dec. 21st, 2005|10:43 am]
[music |Santa Claus is Coming to Town]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MANDUZ!!!!

I'm at home, and although I warded off sickness all semester at school, I think I might be coming down with something. I think I'm going to hang out with Maria today. Brett was supposed to be here at 10 to go running, but he has yet to show...The house is still full of paint cans and clutter, eventually, everything will be put away. I found an awesome recipe for vegetarian chili that I am going to make for Christmas Eve service. Oh man I need to go Christmas shopping. I am so behind. Well, I guess I am just going to go running alone this morning. I hope it's not too cold.

4 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS and I haven't bought 1/2 my gifts!

If you are in Charlotte, you should call me and we should get together.
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and this is me... [Dec. 19th, 2005|04:56 pm]
[music |gustavo santaolalla]

I saw Brokeback Mountain yesterday; It was beautiful, heartbreaking, and one of the best films I have seen in a really long time. For some reason it really affected me... I haven't really felt the same since. Sometimes I feel like our current ways of thinking are so f*cked up that I just get extremely depressed and lonely. I want to do something. I want to change the world...I want to change one person. I want to make things better, but I don't know how. I feel overwhelmed. I talked to Michael for over an hour at 2am about this. It helped. But I still have a final due tomorrow at 11:20 that I haven't started. And I can't motivate myself to do it. I kind of just want to cry. I bought the soundtrack to the film...listening to it makes me cry. I keep trying to tell myself that it was just a movie, but it's not. I need to meet people that share my interests, that I'm willing to open up to...so that I can stop feeling like this. I wonder if Michael's right...maybe I intimidate people too much. I don't know how to fix that, nor do I neccessarily want to. I want to go home. I feel very alone right now.
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wha... [Dec. 16th, 2005|02:07 pm]
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory instead of studying...
leads to unanswered questions on weight training exam.

I have one take-home exam to go.

But now: RUNNING!


Tonight I have a date with Casey, it should be lovely.
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(no subject) [Dec. 15th, 2005|05:45 am]
[music |hilary's sleeping]

I have now been awake for 2 hours. I want to fall back asleep, but that's beginning to look very unlikely. I think I'm dehydrated. Sometimes the heater in my room takes on a mind of it's own, and it becomes unbearably warm. I think I am going to see the sunrise.

Story:

On Friday, Emily, Ashlee, Manduz, and I were going to go out to dinner. We were waiting for the elevator on the fourth floor, and it finally arrives. The door opens, and Justine is inside. She looks at me, and immediately bolts out of the elevator, and takes the stairs. We (E,A,M,I)get into the elevator, and reach the 1st floor at the same time as Justine. She then rushed out of the building to avoid me.

The point of this story is that people are ridiculous. I have done nothing to harm Justine, and yet she harbors the most intense hatred for me. Sometimes it's funny, but most times it's just sad. This whole instance was such a throw-back to high school drama that I'm still shocked it actually happened. What makes this story even more odd is that when I went to tell Ezra about how bizarre his girlfriend had behaved--he already knew...because she had told him, almost as if to brag. Very very odd.

What else has occurred lately...

I have completed four out of six finals, and that feels pretty good.
I need to buy Christmas presents.
I ate at Afghan Grill for Russ' birthday instead of writing my paper on Monday. It was delicious. I plan on returning in the near future.
I meet with Joan Echols tomorrow, er, today.

And, most importantly, I return home on Tuesday!

I guess this is all, now I need to find something else to occupy my time...
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School's almost Over [Dec. 14th, 2005|08:46 am]
[music |The Real McCoy - Another Night]

Here are the haikus that I wrote for my final exam. They are not as profound without pictoral accompaniment, but I think they are pretty good.

Great L. Ron
The Humanitarian
Happiness this way

I first met Moses
When he led group processing
I looked and saw life

Group Processing is:
An astounding exercise
Touch your elbow please,

Look at the ceiling
Now look at the fixture
See reality

Grad hold of these bars
How do you feel about pain?
I will pinch you now

How does your mind work?
With eyes closed, picture a cat
Who sees the cat now?

The infamous globe
L. Ron had no better gift
Photogenic, yes?

L. Ron leads the way
Happiness is doable
Do not cheat or sin

Prolific L. Ron
You wrote on pulpy paper
Twenty best-sellers

On education,
Thank you for solving our woes
Now I can learn good

You recorded all
Four thousand of your lectures
We revere your great words

Infallible Ron
You made great discoveries
You never fail me

Everywhere your face,
But never a single smile.
Always hard at work.

L. Ron’s “To-Do” List

Eagle scout, sailor
Aviator and soldier
Start new religion

Aussies led the tour
We followed to the basement
I thought I would die

L. Ron solves problems:
Crime, drug abuse, and illness
He knows everything

Aussie Testimonial

Algebra was hard
L. Ron made it easier
It’s recombining

The bridge to freedom,
Although you cannot read it,
Is perfectly clear.

Mural on the wall
Daybed underneath for naps,
Pretty thoughts for Ron

Sweat out your toxins
Drug abuse is in your mind
Praise great Narconon

Now I need to actually work.
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The paper has pulp [Dec. 11th, 2005|07:01 pm]
[mood |Inquisitive]
[music |Nat King Cole - Unforgettable]

Today I went to the Church of Scientology with Lindsay and Laura. It was one of the most bizarre experiences of my life. It would take one thousand pages for me to explain it all, but mark your calendars for January 24, 2006. I will be throwing a party for the 20th anniversary of l. ron hubbard's departure from this life. The party will include a viewing of Battlefield Earth, simon says, as well as a dramatic interpretation of some of hubbard's most influential writings. Additional suggestions are welcome. Expect invitations via campus mail the week after winter break. Also, Habeeb did not show up to work on the documentary tonight. I plan to peer-grade him with a 'D.' It's what he deserves. I am now procrastinating...I still haven't started my circumcision paper, and it needs to be 12 pages long. and good. i am screwed.

In other news, I am so excited to go home. I can't wait to hang out with my family, Brett, Maria, Chris, and Bobby. I miss them all.

I should probably complete my oral history essay, I don't want to disappoint Julian Bond like he has disappointed me.

Until tomorrow.
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i forgot [Dec. 2nd, 2005|09:27 pm]
Oh and it 'snowed' today. It was pretty sweet.
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HOORAY [Dec. 2nd, 2005|08:44 pm]
[mood | very happy]
[music |Aretha Frankiln Sings The Blues]

I got the internship! I am now GenderYOUTH program intern; here is my job description:

Supports our rapidly growing GenderYOUTH program by helping organize and
support coordinators of GenderYOUTH chapters on college campus across
the United States. Develop and provide materials and lend support for
campus coordinators so they can educate their peers and high school
students in their area on GPAC's mission and programs. Helps maintain
online networking opportunities for youth and youth organizers.

Sounds exciting, huh? I am going to drop my psychology class in order to take this; I don't know how smart that is--to put off a gen ed...But, I'm going to do it anyways. Maybe I will stay in DC for a session this summer and take it then. I don't want to be behind. I am going to be taking 17 credit hours next semester, and two days a week I will be working in Dupont from 10-6. I'm pretty 'jazzed.'

In other news, I slept through my alarm when I was napping this evening. I haven't done that in a loong time , but I guess I needed the sleep. When I woke up, an HOUR after I was supposed to have gotten up, Amanda called and asked me to go to TDR. Even though I wasn't hungry at all, I went--and oh am I glad I did. They had amazing whole wheat apple bread...so I took a whole loaf with me for breakfast...lunch...and dinner tomorrow. Hilary and I are going to go jogging in the morning to Bethesda, which, if you don't know, is a pretty far. I'm excited. I love this whole 'running' thing. Oh and Amanda and Jeremy sang 'Edelweiss' from the 'Sound of Music' on Matt's radio show tonight. It was hilarious; I love Manduz. She decided to move to a different room next semester...and hasn't told Laura yet. I can't wait to hear how that news goes over. Yikes!! It's good no one reads this because otherwise: gossip travels fast.

Well, now I am going to write a response essay before I head over to the gym to talk to Casey. This has been a fantastic week. Night.
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(no subject) [Dec. 1st, 2005|10:19 pm]
<td align="center" style="background: #FFFFFF; color: #000000;">Emily's Reason for Travelling Back in Time:

To see Atlantis
Time Machine!

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com</td>
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12 Days [Dec. 1st, 2005|09:53 pm]
[mood | complacent]
[music |silence]

Today I realized that I need to complete 70 pages in the next 12 days. Based on what I've already done, this amounts to 4 pages per day. As soon as I finish this entry--I will start on my first four. But first, my day: I forgot that I had a meeting with this girl to come up with the big WGST event in the spring. It wouldn'thave been so bad if I hadn't been e-mailing her back-and-forth for the last two weeks. I feel really irresponsible. Also, I realized that if I am offered this internship, and decide to do it for credit, I will be taking 20 credit hours, 3 of which would be my 16-hour internship. I have a feeling I would want to die. This means that I'm going to have to drop a class, but I don't have any idea which one...In other school-related news: I was selected as an AU nominee for the Killam, woohoo--Canada here I come! Well, first I have to complete the application, and then I have to be selected, but this is a good first step. In other news, I have five dollars in quarters, and a stomach ache. The two are not entirely unrelated. I babysat the Nan's today; they're good kids...until abotu 7:45 and then they get cranky. Yuck. But I got paid $60, so it was worth it. Tomorrow will start off well with a 7:30am 'run,' but take an immediate turn for the worse as all I am going to do is homework. Okay, that's all.
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Entry #1 [Nov. 30th, 2005|08:40 pm]
[music |npr]

So here this goes...
Today I had an interview with Gender PAC, where I was interviewed by two gay men, and one of them was wearing a lovely pink sweater. I want to work for them. I think it went well, but I really sucked at the greatest strengths and weaknesses questions. They're such an interview trademark...I should have been more prepared. Oh well, also today, I was summoned for jury duty. Very unfortunate indeed. I don't know when I'm going to be in Charlotte again after Christmas break because I'm going to Mexico for spring break, and then somewhere else for the summer. I wish I knew something a little more definitive, but I'll figure it out soon enough. So back to the question of jury duty, I guess I will have to just pick some days that I might be home...and hope that everything works out. I actually want to do it, I think it would be a cool adult life experience. I am procrastinating more than ever before. Thanksgiving was not a good motivator; I just want to go home again. Here is all the work I should be doing, but not: 5th: response to the burlesque show, 7th: response to DC Vote, 8th: 15 page paper on female circumcision, 12th: 30+ page on Frank Smith AND documentary of the american dream, 14th: presentation on scientology, and then finals. In short, by December 21st, I will want to die and it will be the direct result of me writing in a livejournal. Oh man, it's time for kickboxing. Oh, and if anyone chooses to read this: I am also beginning to train for a half-marathon in the spring. So watch out.
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